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Cupid Comes to China

Love and dating for the youth of modern-day China has become far more sophisticated, some would say worse. Many are entangled between competing ideas of true love, future success, financial stability and status.  All the while, traditional values attempt to shape the character and choices of young adults.  Take for instance, the recent culture clash over the popular reality TV dating show, If You Are The One (Fei Cheng Wu Rao).

The shows format is as follows: a panel of 24 women judge, jibe and grill a series of eligible bachelors on their aspirations, dreams, and assets.  The women express their ultimate interest in a bachelor by simply switching on or off a light that they control.  The show is known for the sass and sometimes bitter criticisms of the contestants but the episode featuring one Ma Nuo (see below) supposedly went too far.

After being offered a ride on one of the bachelor’s bikes, Ms. Nuo supposedly stated that she would rather “cry in a BMW, than be happy on a bike.”  In another incident one bachelor, a Mr. Liu bragged about his net worth and the three sports cars that he has in his ownership.  The incidents made for great television, but they also incurred the ire of the government officials who decried the promotion of greed, arrogance, and gold-digging in the public sphere.

In response, the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (SARFT) have made big regulatory changes to “If You Are The One” and other popular reality dating shows across the board. The SARFT effectively banned “fake participants, morally provoking hosts and comments that allude to sex in television dating shows.”  New rules now “demand that hosts of matchmaking shows be good people with good reputations rather than controversial figures, and contestants must use authentic identities, and undergo strict screening procedures before participating in such matchmaking programs.”  (China’s TV Dating Shows: For Love or Money? Justin Bergman, June 30, 2010.)

In the world of online-dating, the popular dating site Jiayuan.com decided to launch a competition to find the perfect soul mate for eighteen of their dollar-millionaire members.  The competition has attracted women all around the world (Vancouver, New York and Paris are just some examples).  This past week, during the first part of the selection 2 600 Cindarellas were analyzed by the organizers based on applicant’s weight, figures, age and their potential to increase their future husband’s estate. Now only 130 of them have the opportunity to meet the “Golden boys”. No information has been released about the Romeos’ identity, except that they are an average 38 years old and "self-made" fortune men.

In blogs, editorials and the general commentary, sentiments often try to indicate the new reality of dating in China.  Some decry the “commercialization of relationships” and society’s emerging materialism; while others state matter-of-factly, “this is the way things are.”    In some of the most outspoken statements, some of China’s young adults have stated that the views on If You Are The One are the actual views of some people in China, and therefore the shows original content had merit.   Older, more conservative Chinese have likened the search for millionaire’s wives to “the selection of imperial concubines in ancient times, with the new super-rich elite substituting for the old imperial family.” [What’s on Xiamen.cn 24 June 2010]

Some comments go further to state that the government’s new regulations show how out of touch the nation’s leadership is with the realities of China’s changing culture and social structure.  These views are somewhat strengthened by reports of corruption by government officials, which have come to light to over the past year.



In this blogger’s opinion, China’s dating culture is changing and change can be scary.  If China’s cultural conservatives truly wish to preserve the value of good healthy relationships, changing reality shows and condemning dating competitions is not the answer. The SARFT’s forcible changing of these reality dating shows was the wrong response to an important media issue.  Western reality shows may often promote materialism, arrogance, and some of the worst qualities of human nature; yet there are also a bevy of other shows which demonstrate the potential of having good virtue. The government should do more to encourage the type of programming that demonstrates good virtue and the growth of healthy relationships, rather than denouncing the crasser content – a surer way of creating interest in the latter content, as seen in every media-related moral panic.

By the way, since Ms. Nuo’s television fiasco, she’s made several more television appearances and men have been sending her “marriage proposals with pictures of themselves in BMW’s.”  So much for media control.